Jan 082017
 

Here’s my annual preview of some of the new 2017 sires that are available for breeding with.  I’ve provided this keen insight for several years now and my mail box has been empty with lots of requests….er….I mean full with lots of requests for this precious and highly desirable insight.   I’ve sharpened my ability to forsee things that have not yet happened, thanks to my continued studies at Madam Mardella’s School of Flight.  I have received certificates in various fields such as numerology, crystal ball reading, palm reading, mind reading, tarot cards just to name a few.  Undoubtedly you must be impressed with my background.  So to prevent any bragging on my part, it’s now time to look at some of these newbies and what to seek, and what to avoid.   Not all horses are covered, but these are the major requests that I have not received…opps, I mean that I HAVE received.

AEROPLANE-A horse with a name that is not spelled correctly is a red flag.  The name should be Airplane.   Thus, one that does not follow direction well.   A very poor choice.

AGENT SECRET-Another one that has grammar problems.  Name should be Secret Agent.  Getting things backwards is not a wise choice for a sire.  Heck, their babies would be born backwards and run races backwards.  No brains here either.

AMAZING RESULTS-The name says it all.  Or you would think.   The amazing results are how much his kids will lose by.  Pass on this one and you’ll have better results.

BACHELOR SON-A bachelor is a guy.  Bachelors like to chase the girls.  Girls like to be chased by guys.  All this chasing will result in babies.  The babies will chase each other.   But all that chasing won’t work on the race track when you should be racing.  Forget this one.

BIRDIE BIRDIE-We all know the poem that goes “Birdie Birdie in the sky…..why’d you do that in my eye….I’m not at all sad…But in a way I am glad….That cows don’t fly”.  Ok, that poem flopped but this bird flies….grab those shares now!

CADILLAC BAR-Anything alcohol related with racing is not a good thing.  But a good Cadillac that goes fast is good.  But driving and drinking don’t mix well.   You’ll end up with quick speedsters that wreck before the wire if you go with this sire.

CALIFORNIA CHROME-California is the place to go and the sunshine will glisten off the chrome.   This one is a gold mine but with restrictions.  All children must race in California.  Any other place, they will rust out.  Use cautiously.

CIVIL WAR-This sire will deliver children that will come out with their guns blazing.   They’ll also be smoking hot.  Accuracy from target practice is a huge plus.  The will be set on the target of winning the war on the track.  Good one to go with.

DOUGS BUDDY-Who is this buddy?  No one really knows.   Since the sire does not know who his buddy is, he won’t know the mare he’s breeding with.  Nothing worse than someone who can’t remember things.   Thus the kids will be equally forgetful, like forgetting anything they learn in training class.  Find another buddy.

FANTASTIC MOON-Results will be, hmmm…how can I say this…Fantastic comes to mind.  But the kids are late nighters, so if you breed using this sire just remember to race them under the moon at night for best results.

FIVE IRON-Ok…this sire is actually a golfer.  How this one snuck into the game is puzzling.   Avoid at all costs.  But if you need a forth player in a golf tourney, sign this one up.

GOKEN-Looks like the biggest secret of all sires in the game.  How can one go wrong with a horse name Go Ken…I mean, Goken?   It ken go fast.   Load up on these!

GOLDEN YEARS-A very bad one to use.  All the kids that are born from this sire will be automatically the age of 20.  Who wants to run a newbred horse that old?

HEIR JOE-This sire is rich in kash.   All inherited too from his dad.   If his dad was rich, it was because he was a grade winner.  While Heir Joe was lazy and could not run for peanuts, the running ability skips a generation and his kids will have to perform well as Heir Joe is lazy and blowing off his inheritance.   Nothing left for the kids, so they will race well to earn their own wealth.

IN TROUBLE-The name says it all, stay away.   I’ve run this through various systems and the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and plucking the leaves off a daisy all agree.   Need I say more?

ITO-How many of you remember Judge Ito?  Hint…he was the presiding judge in the OJ Simpson murder case.    Anyway, this Judge has good sense and will only mate with sensible mares.  It’s sensible that the kids will have good  judgement too, thus using ITO makes sense.

LADY RADAR-So Radar has a lady now.  Who is Radar you ask?  Remember the television show MASH?  Radar knew when the choppers were coming in before anyone else did.   You could say he had vision to see the future, much like myself.   But, when does a sire call them self a Lady?  Not much vision to the future with this guy and the kids will be off the radar too.

LORD NELSON-This one has a need to produce positive ratings.   Kids will too.  Best way to have positive ratings is to win and win again.   Champions are in the future, grab while you can.

MSHAWISH-No typo on my part there.  Just another one that is gramatically incorrect.  It should have been Miss Have A Wish.   That would be much better.  First person to breed Miss Have A Wish will have a winner.   But don’t use this sire to do it with.   If you can’t pronounce the name, you are doomed.

NIAGARA FALLS-What happens in Niagara Falls stays in Niagara Falls, as the saying goes….or maybe that is Vegas.  Well, since Vegas does not have a major Falls in it that means Niagara does.  And since it does, that means it is an attraction.  And attractions are what romance is about.  And mares can be attracted.  And if Mares are attracted, then Niagara Falls will have a mate.  And checkmate is what happens in checkers.  And if you call checkmate in checkers you are playing the wrong game and should be playing chess.  And chess is a confusing game.  And what I just typed is confusing.  Thus, too much confusion with this one, so stay away.

NYQUIST-I received lots and lots and lots of requests for this one.  And he’s a good one.  But don’t breed with the A-level mares.  Nor the B-level or C-level mares.  Use the D-level…you know the “no-name” ones.   Ones that could never win a race even if you gave the a 8-furlong head start in a 8.5 furlong race.   The results you get will be better than the mare you used.   Success!

PRETTY WILD AGAIN-Nothing wrong here.  Not really wild as one may expect.  Very focused on results.   Positive, winning results.  May see a bidding war with this one.  Get your bid in early!

REPENT AGAIN-This one tries to sneak into the game on the heals of Pretty Wild Again and think it is special by using “again” in the name.   Repent is just to throw everyone off thinking the world is coming to an end.  An end “again”.  How many loonies have predicted the world was coming to an end.  Heck, it should have ended in 2000.   Those loonies were wrong.  And you will be wrong if you use this sire.

RUNHAPPY-Bound to be a stake producer.  Maybe not grade level, but the lower stake races.  Nothing wrong about that.  Buy the shares now and you’ll run to the bank and be happy kashing those purse checks.

SUNS OUT GUNS OUT-The OK Corral is featured here.  The children of this horse are ready to go to battle in the biggest shoot out of all.   In racing, that is the Grade level events.  These sharpshooters will dominate in the big races.  But their egos make them suffer at anything lower than that.  Their stubbornness makes it difficult to have them elevate through the ranks to qualify for the big races.  Very risky to use but if you can tame them, riches may be awaiting.

TOTAL RUNAWAY-A fast runner but can’t go more than 4.5 furlongs.  Speed demon but puts too much effort into running away that he’s totally dead anything longer than 4.5 furlongs.   If the shortest distance is your thing, than this is your deuce.  Otherwise runaway from him.

WINNING CAUSEWAY-Gonna be one of the greats.  Not because of Giant’s Causeway bloodline but because the children will listen to their parents.  When have you ever heard of that happening?  Not only that, they listen to their trainers.   Great one to have!

 

There’s a snapshot of several, but not all of the sires available this year.

 

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  5 Responses to “2017 Sires: Who to Use, Who to Pass On”

  1. Surprised you didn’t comment on NOSTRADAMUS Ken — perchance he be a competitor in the realms of sire-clairvoyance ??

    KOH I NOOR may prove a diamond, while VESPA and WHITE MERCEDES could both produce something a little nippy, don’t ya think ??

    Ha ha ha — and ha again :)

    • One cannot challenge another who sees the future, so I left Nostradamus alone.

      The others are worthwhile pursuits, that is, if you want to win races. But the temperature has to be nippy. What is nippy for humans is different for artificial horses, so mastering that will be a challenge.

  2. Great work, but I think it would only be fair to give equal credit for authorship to each of the voices in your head which contributed to the article.

  3. Nicely done!