Healthiest Horse Takes Clone Race by komickash
on
Monday, March 08, 2010 at
8:38:56 PM
Reminder-Please Have Your Horses Tested!
This weekend, Comedy Central presented another round of their clone racing. If you read my news breaking article earlier this week, you would have learned that I went undercover into this residency and dug up a most disturbing event. The Equine Herpes Disease!!!! This seems to be spreading quicker than you can blink and effecting many horses and at least one Squirrel! Anyway, as part of going undercover, I used their breeding line of City Place x Kissin Kris x Copelan and entered it into their race.
One may think that now that I have exposed this malicious disease as well as admitted to being undercover, that the gang at Comedy Central would be upset. Well, if clowns would read anything but the comic section of last weekends newspaper maybe they would know. So I even went as far as naming my horse Spying From Inside. Still, they did not detect me, even though I was right under their red clown noses!!!
Enough of that, my duty here is to recap the horse race which was a non-graded stakes race run at 6 furlongs. The best way of doing this is just to repeat how the race caller, Harold Dirtturf called the race:
“The last of the horses for 2010’s first Clone Race are being entered into the gate. They are set to gooooooo….And They Are Off!!!! “
“Getting away smartly from the center of the field is Spying From Inside who quickly takes a full length lead. The rest of the field is packed together in a bunch. They pass the first furlong and Spying From Inside has now strutted out to a two length lead”
“Spying From Inside continues to lead and has now expanded upon his lead to three lengths as the field of 2 year olds is just passing the midway point”
“It is all Spying From Inside as he has left the field behind and leads by four strides. Spying From Inside is overpowering the field as noone has come close to this monster of a horse!!!”
“Coming through the stretch, it is all Spying From Inside leading the way to the wire. Spying From Inside has beat his brothers and sisters handily in a time of 1:12.2. Spying From Inside was by far much the best and picks up his first career victory in his very first start.”
And there you have it…as Mr. Dirtturf stated, he was “much the best”. I find it overly compelling to include my review of my own horse in this article. Perhaps I’m bragging a bit, but who cares? Those fools from Comedy Central just stood their with their jaws dropped to the ground. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop!!! But, clowns don’t talk much, so you usually can hear a pin drop around them. Anyways, here is exactly my comment on my now stake winner!
Spying From Inside is trained by Komickash and has post 6. Hey, this is my horse!!! It is not infected!!! The colt is pure, clean. There is no hidden message in the name. It readily explains to the world that I have been Spying From Inside the walls of Comedy Central. Nothing but truth and honesty. THIS IS YOUR WINNER!!!! PUT THE MORTGAGE ON THIS ONE!!! Remember, the jokers at Comedy Central only read comic books. They are clueless of my entry right under their noses!!!
I truly hope there are lots of people that put the mortgage on my horse. Paid $18.00 for the win. I’ve been hearing rumours that the Comedy Central now want to have Spying From Inside tested. They cannot believe the end result. But it is their own horses that need to be tested. Equine Herpes is not something to be messing with. In fact, I already have a vet team checking out and keeping a watchful eye on Spying From Inside, just to make sure he did not contract anything from the others in the race.
Now not to ignore the siblings that ran with Spying From Inside, like the track announcer did, here is how the rest of the field fared:
Second place went to Wont Break Fifty who contrary to his name, finished with a speed of 64, closing well from near the rear of the field.
You Are Here got the show spot. This horse ran second for a good part of the race before being overtaken by the place horse.
Forth went to the horse named Likekissinyasister. Good way to spread germs too like Equine Herpes. Anyway, she pretty much ran in forth most of the race and finished there too.
City Slickers picked up the final purse check by finishing in fifth by passing a few tiring siblings.
Lacks Talent came up on the short side of a photo being beat out for the final purse payout by City Slickers, and settled for 6th.
Genetic Makeup II started off well, running near the front early on. Genetic just flatly folded up in the second half of the race and finished 7th.
The eighth spot went to Kamikaze Juvenile who had fairly decent position in the fifth spot early on, but just couldn’t get anything going.
Wall St. Blunder was the trailer of the group who was able to move up a few spots by the end of the race, finishing 9th.
Uniquely Pink and Chief Chia took the last two spots respectfully. Neither had much to show, and both just gradually worked their ways to the rear of the field.
In summary, I have to admit that I look for good things to come my way. With my undercover news breaking story on the Equine Herpes disease, I undoubtedly know I will win some kind of news award. The race is only proof that sick horses do not perform well against well kept ones. And just to throw this in, my horse was only in RTG condition….speaks volumes of how healthy horses perform compared to ill ones. You all listening out there on the Pulitzer Prize committee?
-- Owner Restricted